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Raleigh Basshead #1
30 July 2014 @ 03:03 pm
Wow, 35. Life just speeds by! Things have been great however. My DJ and karaoke company has grown to the point that I comfortably support myself and I'm almost finished with school. I'm still single years after Laura Aronson, because I just haven't met the right one. I've had a lot of fun meeting the wrong ones though! :D I've started labeling myself an agnostic lately, which has shocked the crap out of my old friends and given smug grins to my atheist pals. I haven't completely given up on Christianity, it's just that I'm not convinced anymore. I haven't told many people though, because I'd honestly rather talk about something else! Alright, time to go do something constructive with my day :)
Current Location: Durham, NC
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: God is an Astronaut - The Last March
Raleigh Basshead #1
09 November 2011 @ 11:03 pm
You know, I'm actually pretty happy to discover its still here. I have just about my entire twenties chronicled here. So now I'm at the ripe old age of 32, finishing my second year of college! I'm the Marketing Director of a remodeling company called US Structures Corp and I have a small wedding lighting, sound, and DJ company of my own called The Perfect Event. A whole relationship has come and gone with no mention here on LJ (Laura Aronson), so I may write down my thoughts here for posterity. I'll post more after reading through some of my older posts on here- its been forever! Maybe I should update my profile pic too, I can't remember what the kanjii means.....(Stupid Roundeye? Who knows)
Raleigh Basshead #1
23 May 2009 @ 09:38 pm
...is still alive! In spite of drinking too much liquor and not having any good DnB shows to go to, I still live! I may even log back in and post something meaningful sometime soon.
Raleigh Basshead #1
29 October 2008 @ 01:48 am

  I haven't posted in forever! I didn't even make my traditional DANIELS%@^%$INGBIRTHDAY#%#@$!!!W000HooOOO post. (I'm 29 now) I had noticed that my posts were starting to take a turn for the maudlin and was determined not to post again until I was in a better frame of mind.

It took *this long*.

So! Whats been going on? Well, I'm planning on moving in with my father for a little while in January. The reason? Well, I would be able to save up a considerable amount of money in a very short amount of time. Making 50k a year with no bills whatsoever would do that.  I'll be able to get my Mustang in a few months!! W00t! Also, I would have money for either A) school, or B) Grand Adventure. What Grand Adventure? I'm not sure, but I have a few ideas- and it all involves traveling. We'll see.

So! Women- they will drive a man to drink and ruin. However, in spite of all the drama, heartbreak, and general what-the-@$&#ness of the last year or so, I'd  have to say they're a good problem to have. All my complaining probably doesn't mean much to the hunchbacked bald guy with buck teeth, a lazy eye and a peg leg living in the sewer that wonders what it would be like to walk outside without people screaming and opening fire at him. 

Thinking about that guy makes me feel pretty good. ^_^

So, I've met a really remarkable woman recently. Shes a Canadian ex-model with her own band thats staying down here for a bit. I spent some time with her recently, and theres quite a bit to like about her...Shes intelligent, good-humored, stylish, and talented....and also...she says she can COOK (!!!) <-----Big check on that one people. Also, shes different in one other big way...shes 35. Shocker, right? Daniel, the guy that wrote the Little Golden Book on cradle-robbing? Well this gave me pause at first, but maybe its a good thing. I just left the wreckage of a relationship and friendship where the girl I was enamored of hadn't been through much of life yet, nor really had a hard life growing up. Falling in love with her was disasterous for me, and I'm still reeling from it. It may be time to move from girls to a woman. We'll see...

I feel @^$%ing great XD  

Raleigh Basshead #1
Well, life certainly is interesting. After the whole Shannon fiasco, I killed my interest in relationships and was pretty much back to my old tricks, and started dating around a bit again. I went out with Laura a few more times, then my ex from 8 *years* ago pops up and we start hanging out a bit. Then my Carmen and I start rebuilding our friendship after I forgave her for her (disgusting) relationship with my friend Jim. We hung out a bit too much though, because we started falling into some of the old routine... We just have so much in common, and enjoy being around each other so much, that its easy to forget sometimes that we've been through this time and time again. In the end, for whatever reason, we don't seem to work... Jim ends up going @#%@#%ing nuts for no reason at all, and I have to go up to the bar to tell him that if he doesn't stop contacting & fucking with Carmen, shes going ahead w/ a restraining order. Of course if he *had* actually done anything, they would have had to get a restraining order against me, but I would have hated to do all that to someone I still somehow call a friend. Some guys just have serious issues dealing with women, and go psycho for a bit. He has his good points as well, but man this is obviously his Achille's Heel in life. This just ends up throwing Carmen and I even closer, and things start to get complicated. Oh, also Shannon apologizes profusely for the ridiculously @#$@#ed up way she treated me, and I forgave her.
I've started to come to the conclusion that I'm a forgiving fool.
So Shannon and I start hanging out again, and with her it also started to get easier to act like what she did didn't happen....aaaaand....
I end up talking to four different girls at the same time. Wtf. All with baggage of some kind or another between us. I really need to take a break from women in general, I believe. I love Carmen, but I know that we're just not cut out for each other romantically in the end. I adore being around Shannon, but I can't forget how terribly she acted, and that I can't open myself up to that kind of damage again. Laura is @#%@ing 20. years. old. -and acts it. Shes still fun to hang around sometimes, but I've quickly come to the conclusion that I can't let her gothy cuteness distract me from the fact that...um...shes @#%@#ing *20*! Kari, well, things are pretty cool between us, as we're really just old friends now, albeit cuddly ones. Still, I have to be careful with that one..
Oh, and apparently my insurance lapsed for 5 days back in October of last year, and I had no idea that my license plates had been revoked. Well, an officer kindly informed me of that fact two weeks ago when he took my bloody plates. So I've been unable to go anywhere. God bless Carmen's heart though- shes been taking me back and forth to work, even though being around me so much is playing havoc with her emotionally. I told her that I would just start trying to find another way to get around, but she insisted on the grounds that I would do the same for her. Which I would. I really hope we can get our heads straight to where we can be around each other without all the confusion and jealousy. Man, does anyone actually read all this stuff? I hope not. I'm really not into drama at all, but apparently I've been picked for the lead role lately...
Good news though- I head to the beach in 3 days to hang out with two of my oldest best friends - Amber and Ani (& their respective guys). What a trip its going to be seeing those two friends from such drastically different times in my life meeting and hanging out. I can't wait! For whoever actually keeps up with what I write, I promise my next post will have *no drama*!!! This post was just a bigass recap XD
Raleigh Basshead #1
06 March 2008 @ 06:18 pm
Despite the tone of my last three doom-and-gloom posts, I'm just fine, and I am *not* emoing in any way lol. I've been going back out, and dancing again- I almost forgot how much I loved it. I started to see a girl after Shannon, but she turned out to be way too immature, and I ended it before it went anywhere. I'm going to take it easy for awhile, and just go out to have a good time. :) And fortunately, when I seriously dance I don't drink, and I got rid of all the liquor in the freezer(well, mine anyway), so I've managed to curb that vice. Man, so now I don't drink, do drugs, or smoke. Whats next, becoming a Vegan? Hmm, not bloody likely- I love Eel and steak too much...

Right! Off I go.
Raleigh Basshead #1
Get this. Knowing I'm wrecked, she goes back over the guys house for his @$#%ing Bday party. Where she does it *again*. So much for "I felt terrible, I would *never* have done it sober".
If she had talked to me about it, of course I'd still be wrecked, and never touch her again, but eventually I could have forgiven her enough to be her friend. BUT
She still hasn't talked to me since.
She took not just anything we had, but our entire friendship and threw it in the garbage, and doesn't even care enough to talk to me or own up to anything shes done. The way shes treated me has been so fucking monstrous, that I'm still off-balance.
The thing is, even if we hadn't worked out romantically for whatever reason, or she never came back down to the States, I would have been her friend for the rest of her life. I hope she looks back one day and realizes what she lost when she lost me. Unfortunately, I doubt she ever will- there are sides of me that she'll never see.
I'm better now, and I've realized that I was being silly left and right, acting like I was 19 and didn't know any better. At least I really have learned a lot from this, such as paying attention to signs that all is not well, and having to be more responsible with womens' feelings in future relationships (Of which there hopefully wont be many more)so that I don't make them feel the way I do now. I think this is probably what God had in mind during this whole fiasco. 28 is a little late to relearn ones lessons, but I should be grateful for it-
Now there's less of a chance of me messing up with a woman that deserves my affection.
Raleigh Basshead #1
06 March 2008 @ 05:24 pm
Well, when we got together, we continued our drinking, just not alone. >_> At some point early on, I started realizing that Shannon would forget entire parts of a day spent together, often having no clue what I was talking about when I would reference a conversations we had. Often important ones. Even worse, she'd forget, well, lets just say that my memory of our time together is probably many times longer than hers. Our drinking was clearly becoming a big problem. The entire time, we knew that she had to leave for school in Canada very soon, so the general attitude was Fuck it! Lets have the best time we can in the short-ass time we have! Then- she had to go. I accepted that, I was disappointed, but I'm a grown man. I knew she had to leave for school. I never once asked her to stay, although of course thats exactly what I wanted. We talked every day for months while she was in Canada. We both continued drinking as well. We made plans for me to visit, to go to Anime North, all kinds of things. Maybe we couldn't be together, but at least we could be best friends. Then the news! She was coming back down! Well hot damn. We talked about it, and decided that this time we would limit our drinking, and go out and do other things together. We both wanted to get our life straight, and stumbling around every night certainly wasnt going to do that.
Well, as soon as I saw her for the first time back in Raleigh, I knew something was wrong. Did she run up and glomph me? Anything? No. She smiled, but that was really it. We started to spend time together again, but she just wasnt the same. Her sense of humor became occasionally insulting and she wasn't affectionate at all. Id pick her up or drive to see her in the middle of the night only to have her sit and watch @#$ing asian boyband videos for hours with me trying to just be with her. It was absolutely ridiculous. If I heard about a friend being in this position, I'd rag him to no end. Apparently she really couldn't see what it was doing to me, or didn't care.
I hate to say it, but I started us drinking again, even though I really didnt want to. I hated drinking again all the time- It made me feel like shit, and I wasn't concentrating on doing the things I need to do. But- whenever we were drunk, shed act the way she used to, be affectionate, wed have fun! What the hell was I thinking- I should have known right there that for whatever reason we were dead. We finally had a talk about what we were, were we dating? Boyfriend/girlfriend? Obviously it would only be until she left for Canada again, but I needed to know- I had blown off several nice girls because I wanted to spend what time I had with Shannon. She agreed that while she was down we were dating. I bet money that she doesn't even remember that conversation. Well, we had spent all of our time inside since she came down -with the exception of Mura on Valentine's- so we decided we needed to go out and do something fun. My friends had a few parties lined up, and I really wanted to show her a good time (And get this-she had never seen me take over a dance floor. Those of you who've known me for awhile know how weird that is). Well, days go by and I don't know where she is. Then a couple more days. I end up going to party without her, instead of sitting at home like a fool. Well, I found out where she was all right.
She was busy fucking the bartender at Carinos. In fact, she ended up sleeping with this guy the very same day that she had rolled out of my bed. Apparently she got really drunk, and hooked up with him after work at some house party. Of course, she had a crush on him for awhile apparently. Not only did she do it, but she bragged about it.
I was literally, physically dropped where I stood. I was wrecked. I mean, if she moved away again, ended up starting to see someone and eventually got in a relationship, thats one thing. But this was vile. I had to immediately drive to Carinos and confront her. I hated to go to her job, but she was obviously making no effort to talk to me at all.
When I saw her she put on a smile and walked up to me. I looked her dead in the eye and asked her "How *could* you?" She acted like she had no idea what I meant. I spelled it out for her and she still acted like she was oblivious. Finally she realized that I 100% knew, and admitted to it. She exclaimed that she was sorry, she felt like shit about it, that she was completely drunk and that there was *no way* she would have done it sober. Talk about the oldest excuse in the book. Everyone knows that you use alcohol to feel better about doing something you want to do, but know you shouldn't. I leave because really I don't want to make a scene at her job, with the understanding that shed call me. <>
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Raleigh Basshead #1
06 March 2008 @ 04:53 pm
Well, this post is 2 weeks overdue. To be honest, I don't really want to make it. However, this page is for *my* memories, musings, etc. I'll look back on this post as I do all others and remember and learn.

Two weeks ago my heart was broken. When it happened it came as a total shock to me, because I was in denial about being in love in the first place. The idea of me being so emotionally invested in something that was obviously doomed and not requited was absolutely insane, and I realized it even then. However, apparently strong emotion can rob you of the ability to think straight. What led to me falling so hard? In 28 years of life, I can honestly say there are possibly two people in the past that I've loved, but those times were different. In each of those cases it was a slow buildup of appreciation and affection that matured into love. This was different - it was like someone ran up behind me and whacked me upside the head with the Stupid Stick. Anyone that knows me well knows how reserved I am emotionally. Its been a recurring problem in my relationships. I'm never as into the other person as they are into me. As always, the relationship would die away as the other person realizes that I won't commit, and that I'm just not on fire for them. Man, I had no clue what I was doing to them. Well man, was I on fire this time. Maybe its because I had just come off from a long relationship (Carmen). Maybe its because I was afraid of losing sight of my dreams and becoming just another retail manager. Maybe it was a combination of things/ But along came a girl that seemed like exactly what I've been looking for in a girl- sweet, funny, caring, full of life, beautiful, just...bloody perfect. We immediately started spending every. single. minute together. For a little over a month we were inseparable. We were having a riot just being around each other and dorking out to our own qwirky interests. We both shared an obsession with Asian culture, although different facets of it. We had similar dreams and goals (freakishly so), and such a similar sense of humor. Unfortunately, we also decided that we'd spend every moment completely drunk. Right before we started dating we had both exited long relationships, and had taken to bouts of drinking alone. <>
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Not telling.
Raleigh Basshead #1
Man, I need to hurry up and get rich. So much stuff out there to do! And it all involves truck-loads of cash to do it!
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Man, I need to hurry up and get rich. So much stuff out there to do! And it all involves truck-loads of cash to do it! <_< So, I've decided to stop driving a shitty car. This decision was largely based on having more than 3 people in one week tell me I have a shitty car. Originally, this so spurred me into action that I immediately inquired to a dealership about 2 18-20 thousand dollar cars that I was interested in, did the credit check, etc. Well, thank God for Shannon, who, on one of our recent drunken tangents, dropped the logic on me about not spending so much on a car right now. However, I did get the general idea that I could spend no less than 7k on the next car, or risk once again having a shitty car. So, I think I'm going to get a Mitsubishi. You can get a pretty ill Mitsubishi for 7-8k. Oh! So obviously this means that Shannon is back in town! ^^ For 2 months! All because I sabotaged her ca...I mean because her car unfortunately broke suddenly >_> So now shes back in the states for a bit till she can raise the $$ to buy a new car. Its so fun having her back with me for awhile, but its rather bittersweet at the same time. With every sweet moment that we have, there lurks the reality that once again she'll be gone, then no more us.. :( But hey! Can't let that spoil it! To much fun stuff to go do! If only I didn't work so $@%#$ing much! On that note, I'm pretty sure that my District Manager is gunning for me to be General Manager of our Durham location eventually. <_< I really don't want to end up 20 years from now saying that I run a store in Durham, NC. I have to fight the temptation!! I must continue to save money so that soon I can quit, hop in my @$%#^ing *superhero-pimp* Mitsubishi and pull off squealing tires, laughing like a madman and shooting them the bird!! One more year!!! Just one! Then I will have enough to follow my dreams. Then, in Japan, I will be known as.....

Current Location: Your Moms house, bitch
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Pendulum